Wife want real sex Kapowsin i really miss being married and other musings
Wait a second, did I just say that? I sure did. Its true! Now! Wasnt always the case, of course. For the first few years after my divorce, all I wanted to do was have some fun, and so I did. And then, when I started to get more serious about finding someone to start a new life with, I came up with this silly notion that maybe we could have some kind of new age pseudo marriage partnership thing. Why get married and complicate things with all the legality?
Nope, that wont work either. It may for some but a rather regretful experience from several years ago has led me full circle. It just really hit me the other night, when I was making a batch of my famous cookies. Started thinking about everything I miss about it, which inspired me to do some writing and share it. And what better place to do so than CL? With all the other freaks in the freak show this place has become.
Its not just the obvious things I miss, like baking cookies for my sweetie, but the more transcendental effects a good marriage can have on our well being. I miss the meaning and purpose it gives to my life. I miss being "the good provider" of comfort and security to someone other than myself. I miss being a "responsible and dependable husband". I miss the clarity of being married. And, Im just really tired of living alone, and living only for myself. Life is meant to be shared with someone we love.
So thats the goal for me now, and I hope to reach it sooner rather than later. Its been almost years now, and thats 9 more than I spent being "single" in my 20s! I will be turning 60 in a few months, and Im still single. This is not good!
So, no, Im not just looking for a girlfriend to hang out with. Im not looking for sex. Im not even looking for a "relationship". Those are too easy to fall into. Sometimes, you might get lucky and meet someone really cute, and then all it takes is one little kiss, and the next thing ya know, youre naked in bed with someone. Instant couple, instant relationship. I bet that happens all the time. Its what I the "first comes sex, then comes love" approach to dating, no matter what it is were looking for. Do I speak from experience? Of course.
So now, when you say youre looking for a "relationship" or an "LTR", I always have ask, "To what end?" Because eventually, the question will be asked, and will need to be answered. It usually comes out like this, "Where IS this going?" And then, you find yourself in a predicament when the answer doesnt fit with your desires, or vice versa.
Ya know, in the good old days, long before our time, when gentlemen were true gentlemen, and ladies were proper ladies, there was only a period of "courtship", not "relationships", that led to marriage. I do believe there is something to be said for that much slower approach, and how important it is to avoid the sex trap and the instant gratification that gives us. Ah yes, thats what the modern world, and modern love, is all about at times, it seems.
Think about this, too. Its basiy our generation that came up with the idea that its not just acceptable, but maybe even better to "live together" first to see if were "compatible", before deciding whether or not were ever going to walk down the aisle. Or, maybe we simply decide to go on living together, new age style. Thats perfectly acceptable now, too. For some, but not for me. I need the clarity of being married.
Maybe Im just a die-hard romantic who yearns for simpler times. I really dont expect anything to come of this, and dont really want to anyway. I much prefer meeting women out in the real world, so thats where youll find me, because I am "out there", doing the things I like to do.
But just in case youre wondering Im a good looking, and fit, fun loving rock n roll kinda guy (notice I left out the sex and ;) who enjoys an active outdoor sporting lifestyle, travel, music and dancing and so much more.
I am also "retired and living in California", a long way from "home", and without much of a plan for whats next. I guess thats where you come in. Because dreaming up and then planning and creating a new life with a beautiful woman that I love and adore by my side is all I want. Thats what being married is all about!
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