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I must admit in my later years of experience and time invested in failed relationships it has brought me to a simple conclusion. I have aspired to being 'lazy'. In the beginning I approached a new relationship kind of like looking at a car with potential in the junk yard. The thought carried she may be pretty rough but I can fix her up good as new and then we will have some great adventures together. Then after you get her home you realize the tranny is shot, motor locked up, and bondo is the only thing holding this car together. With the greatest of optimism you start to work. But the harder you work the faster things continue to fall apart. Sometimes it is things you just repaired and like the mystical 'Christine' in reverse, overnight its wrecked again. As time passes you realize you are never going to reach a turning point for the better. Finally after giving it all you got you realize it is a hopeless cause to get there and you give up and return the car to the junk yard for another poor soul to try and restore her. Well if you can see all the metaphors in what was written above then perhaps you might understand that I no longer wish to find a 'fixer upper'.
If I could find the right a car how would I describe it? Low mileage, clean inside and out, well maintained, excellent paint job, nice tires, drives like a dream, low maintenance, good gas mileage, nice to look at, fun to drive, you just cannot wait to get behind the wheel to see where you go next. Not going to leave you on the side of the road, will turn heads when you drive by, and most importantly will be something you can depend on and trust when you need it the most. Now if you could own a car like that would you like to have it? Why? Because it is a lazy man's car, something you can simply enjoy driving and traveling with as you go through the journey of life. Is finding a car like that really too much to ask?
If the 'car' described above could be defined into a person then what would that be? Someone attractive, that has clean fingernails, wears nice shoes, knows how to plan a date without asking for help, not going to you ten times a day for reassurance, when your in their company time seems to fly and the conversation is effortless, at times you never know what is going to happen next, makes you laugh, views fun as an adventure to be shared together, manages their money well, a level headed friend that gives good advice, someone you never have to doubt they are true blue and only for you, pets, children, friends and neighbors do not control their life though they are part of it. All these things add up to a person that is in control of their life and someone mature enough to share it with another person. In describing these things if I feel this is what I have worked all my life to offer to some special person in a relationship, would it be selfish to ask for reciprocation from this prospective partner?
There is an old saying if you work hard at something it will become easy but on the other hand if you work easy at something it will become hard. It seems many have approached life with the work at it easy attitude. Taking little responsibility and creating so many hard things to deal with that it makes their lives very complicated. Then when they find someone of interest they expect them to take all these problems on as a matter of recourse to just be in their company. I simply do not want to work that hard to be with someone. You see I have worked hard all my life to learn, take care of myself, show my children love and how to be responsible, establish boundaries with friends and family that are healthy, keep my teeth, gain some wisdom to serve me with better decisions, obtain a wide knowledge of travel and many topics to make conversations interesting. To gain these things has not been easy but in the end it makes me an easy person to be around and very low maintenance. I want someone with similar thoughts and effort to be with me for the rest of my life. It will make our life easy together and as we gracefully age together in sickness and in health we can look back on the hard work we did in our lives to find this place where we can be lazy together.
I don't want to fix you and do not need you to fix me. Let's just laugh, love, have fun, and be lazy. . ..