I understand you feeling anger. But I suspect that under your anger (and your extreme pessimism and anxiety) is fear and sadness. I've lived Ladies seeking casual sex Collinsville Alabama enough to know that anger mask deeper emotions, core emotions that make us feel exposed and vulnerable. You can take the view that she yanked a future out from under your feet. Or you can adopt another perspective. One that'll get you beyond anger. One that'll allow you to this as a contribution and an opportunity. The purpose of dating is to find a suitable mate, someone whose values and goals are compatible with yours. The purpose of engagement is to express an intention, to let the other person know, 'You are the one I choose as my life partner' and to deepen the commitment. It is during this phase that couples earnestly explore their values and create a context for their lives together. The purpose of marriage is to celebrate a commitment that is already there and to seal it with public vows. What you're saying to the world is, 'This is my mate and partner. Please stand by us in our commitment to live as husband and wife.' Its totally fair for an engagement to end if and when one of the parties recognizes an incompatibility. Totally fair and appropriate. If you struggle with pessimism and anxiety as you say, I can understand that being a deal breaker., theres a whole lot that comes with the territory of pessimism and anxiety such as being oppositional and resistant and difficult to deal with. There also be depression. Definately can be a deal breaker. The fact that she gave you this letter as opposed to just breaking up and moving out, is positive. You could choose to hear this as a request that you grow, that you be willing to explore new territory, that you embrace your humanity. By giving you this letter, she is standing for your relationship. She's telling you what she needs to stay with you have the relationship work. She's doing her level best to have her needs met by you so you guys can have a great relationship and be happy together. As you've said, the changes she suggests are in your best interests. Look for the good in this. Trust. It'll be okay. You can do this!
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