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In serch of I sit starring at the monitor. How many times have I started this letter?
This is the most difficult thing I have ever written. What I am about to write may sound mad. Is not love a form of madness? Maybe I am mad. Since the day of my birth, I have seen Terra circumnavigate the star Soul two score and fourteen times. Yet, here I am. Still believing, still reaching out into the darkness. Not for two ships that pass, but for my guiding light. A soul in union with my own. Two hearts beating as one with a common dream of life’s, desires, wants’ and needs. My best friend and lover. My partner, student, and teacher. The one I need never question or doubt. The one and only I can “love” without reserve of the total of my heart and soul.
I understand many will read this, at least in part. (Smile) I thank you for your time. I apologize if my words to you seem long-winded, wrong in wording or intent, or offensive in choice or context. If so, this Letter is not for you, and again I thank you for your time.
I know my spelling and grammar leave much to be desired; of this, I can only beg your indulgence and forgiveness.
I would love to have the skill to present my heart and soul to you as a poem. Sweet prose launched across the either of space to land tender on your heart and sway your soul to me.
The best I can do is to open my heart and soul in the prayer my one and only may hear me.
If that subjects me to ridicule, embarrassment, and spam for my words, then so be it. The pain of this thrust and hunger is too great not to try.
I moved to the mountains of eastern Oregon at the invite of a friend to recover from an injury at work. I have been saying for years that I need to get out of the city.
That was three years ago. I will never live in a city or town again. At present, I am fifty miles out of town and miles from the next nearest house, but still on the grid. My dream is to get some land completely off the grid. To grow and raise all my own food. To live the simple life. I understand the hard work and devotion it takes for such a life. It scares me not. This is not a whim, half-baked in desire alone. I am a very inventive man with the skills necessary to succeed. Even when living in the city my garden provided fruit and vestibules, eggs, and fresh fish for the table. I can and dehydrate. Am a good electrician, carpenter, and welder. I can build and fix anything I set my mind to.
But that is not all I am.
This is the hard part. We all want to present ourselves in the best light possible. And while I want to share my best side with you, It is necessary to be honest. As honest as I can be. I am fanatical about honesty and demand it from anyone who wishes to deal with me on a personal level. This is why though; I try to be friendly with most people. My true friends can be counted on one hand.
I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a child of the , but was already a wild child of the streets in the Haight. The influences of that time and place have left an indelible mark. (LOL) If you could see my home, you would have no question of that. (LOL) now days if you smoke pot they you hippie “Can you hep it?” (LOL) Yes, I am pro 4:20. Is that the correct P.C. way to put that? And NO! It is not the all in life most fools make it to be. I have seen it be a bad thing for some and good for others. As an adult, I should be allowed that choice.
Yes, I drink. Make my own ciders and wines. It is very rare for me to choose to have more than one. I never drink to get drunk. A hate drunks and I do not like bars.
At this time, I smoke tobacco. I say at this time, because I used to smoke cigarettes but now smoke a pipe instead. I smoke a lot less and the tobacco does not have all the added chemicals.
That and I have decided I have to grow my own tobacco or quit.
If it means you’ll kiss me more I’ll quit. How’s that for compromise?
I love romance. Romance should be thought of and instituted as often as humanly possible.
I did not say sex. I said Romance. Get your mind out of the gutter and bring that wife want real sex Helena Valley Northwest thought and yourself right over here. (Smile, wink.) With the proper application of Romance, there will be a healthy sex life. A man should go out of his way to every day show and tell his woman how much he loves and desires her. How much he so appreciates her. And she him.
Can you forgive and appreciate a cornball like myself. Would you laugh at me if I asked you to dance with me by the light of the moon? I would so love to cuddle under a blanket in front of the fire and just talk all night? Take turns reading to each other. Cooking together.
You show me what brings the light to your eyes and I’ll show you mine.
Let us build a house just for us. To hell with convention. We can turn the inner artist loose. I am very interested in earth ship architecture.
How does one begin to describe a person they have yet to meet but in a dream?
I cannot say I have a picture of you in my heart. A specific color hair and eyes. A given height and build. I do not have any clue what you look like. You will look like you.
I am a mix of my Prussian, Russian, and French father and my Portuguese, Moorish, and Native American, mother. I love and honor all my ancestry.
Five foot three and one half inches “Tall.” (Smirk) (Joke - Do not care.) You will be as tall as you are. I am not hung up on who is taller. You will have to decide if I am tall enough for you.
If not, this letter is not for you. Thank you for your time.
I have Long hair with a mustache. Not uncommon for strangers to come up speaking Spanish to me. (Sorry to say, I only speak a few words.) Without the mustache, the common question around here is
what tribe am I. (Again sorry to say, I do not know.) Only the vague stories my mother told us.
I have brown eyes with brown and gray hair.
I love music. All kinds of music, just not a lot of rap. (Smile)
Most of my teeth. All the front ones. (Smile) They may not be perfect but they are mine. (Smile)
At this time I am fat. I have been slowly loosing as I learn better to cook and eat. The upset of years of loneliness does that to some of us.
Do I have baggage? YES! I have lived my life. I have had my heart ripped from my chest and stomped on through lies and betrayal. As for my own actions, have I done things I am not proud of ? Yes. But nothing I am truly ashamed of. It is ok to have baggage as long as you are ready to unpack and make room for the new. I am.
So much to say. So little space. So little time to try to pluck that heartstring. That’s what I am trying to do here. Narrow the field; bring into focus that one woman who has taken the long cold hours to reflect on herself and her true hearts desires. Do you have the same dream for life? Do we have the same moral foundation? Can we be good friends? I have always questioned how one can love someone they don’t like. Or better worded, why would you want to? I am not seeking an instant relationship. Not looking for a bed buddy. My heart wants more. My soul demands it.
All relationships are work. I have tried to lay a foundation her. It takes work to build a house, to build a home. Are you willing to do the work necessary to build trust? Without trust, there is nothing.
It will be hard at first. I have no and no internet. I try to go to town every two weeks and can use the internet there. I am trying to get a connection here on the mountain.
So if you are going to write me, please tell me about yourself. Be honest with both of us. Ask any question you wish. Join me in this conversation. Make the effort and I promise it will be returned.
I need to say something about age here. Except for the rare individual, it has been my experience that the average person seems to take about 35 or so years, to settle into their true self. I hate to give a hard number because it is just that, a number. Just another unknown variable and has no true application to the right woman. You will be whatever age you are. If pushed, I would have to say 40-60 + or - ?
Still with me? Wow, Thank you very much.
Letts have some fun.
Please open your response with the answer to these questions. This really screws with the spammers.
Question one.
What is the air speed velocity of an unladend swallow?
Question three.
What is the 3DBB?
Question two.
Who asked the question? “Who are you?”
Bonus question.
What if this were not a hypothetical question?
I do thank you very much for your time. Best wishes.
Michael
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